I read the reviews for X-Men: First Class before deciding to see it. They’ve been pretty solid up til now … but that’s how it goes when a movie is new. Still, I told myself, James McAvoy is a good actor and I really like the way January Jones’s boobies look in that bra. So, shit yeah, I’m in. On the negative side, the idea of Kevin Bacon playing Sabastian Shaw is pretty damn funny. I could see him as Mastermind or somebody like that, but Shaw is basically the ultimate evil guy in this one. For now, just try to picture this: Kevin Bacon is evil and he wants to rule the world.
You know you laughed. Can’t be helped.
I had other reasons for concern over the X-Men prequel even as my wife and I made our way to the theater. First, prequels usually suck. I’m looking at you, Star Wars. Second, Mystique looked pretty damn ridiculous in this movie. Sadly, I think the actress portraying her should have spent another hour in the makeup chair. I’d still beg her for sex and then spend the night at a titty bar when she said no1, but that’s beside the point. Her whole look screamed “fake” throughout most of the picture. It was even more distracting than all the hot chicks parading around in their underwear.
The chicks parading around in their underwear was actually a plus, mind you. But none of this makes me thing “X-Men: First Class was awesome” or “X-Men: First Class sucked.” So which is it? Click on the jump if you wanna find out.
- That’s what always happens. ↩