There were three geeky chick-power TV shows in the nineties: Xena, Buffy, and Charmed. Which was the best? Hell, you know it’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Sorry Xena fans, I just couldn’t get into Xena’s whole killer Frisbee thing. Her war cry (“yee yee yee yee yee…”) just made me laugh the first few times I heard it. Then I wanted her to just stop already.
But somewhere between Xena and Buffy, there was good ol’ Charmed. While Buffy ruled with dramatic story telling and Xena was fine if you needed the oil changed in your Dodge Caravan, Charmed was the hair twirling, bubble gum popping stepchild of girl-power TV. The stories were two dimensional, but it had Alyssa Milano, and she was neat to stare at. Rose McGowan approaches her level of hotness, but only when her legs at 100% power, like in the beginning of Planet Terror. And then there’s Holly Marie Combs… That’s all I have to say about her.
Hey, I know what you’re thinking: any show that starred three hotties couldn’t be all bad. And you’re right. It wasn’t all bad. In fact, Charmed was frikking hilarious. It wasn’t as hilarious as Knight Rider, but as you know by now, that’s just a physical impossibility.
Truth is that the show’s producers had a secret: they made me enjoy hating Charmed, and since hate is my Prozac, I just kept coming back for more. Ah, the memories. So you should watch it on TNT just like me, where Charmed will live forever. You’ll love hating it too.
Not sold yet? Here are some more reasons to watch Charmed.
Stargate Universe (or SGU) is the latest original offering from Syfy. It takes place in the same universe as Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis, two shows I enjoy and complain about. (Not unlike the Star Trek franchise.) For me, SGU's predecessors suffered from a lack of gritty realism, where a team of only four soldiers could defeat an army of aliens who had superior technology. The Stargate series did have plenty of interesting characters and lots of action–two qualities sorely lacking in Star Trek–but the stories felt a bit shallow to me. Still, I'm always hungry for more scifi, so I knew I was going to give Stargate Universe a shot as soon as I had heard about it. My expectations were low … until I heard that this series would be driven by the characters instead of plot. Intrigued, I set my DVR to record the first episode as soon as it appeared on my program guide.
Was it worth the seconds I spent hitting buttons on my remote, or was I shaking an angry fist at Syfy for wasting precious moments of my life?
Guess what I saw last weekend? Yep, after all the praise from critics and reviewers, I decided to watch District 9. The movie’s about a huge alien ship that was found hovering over Johannesburg, South Africa, about thirty years ago. After the initial pants-wetting fades away, people start noticing the lack of death rays, so a team flies up to investigate. They find a bunch of insectoid aliens cowering inside, starving and miserable, with no way to control the ship. They soon discover that the ship’s command module had already departed and been lost, so the poor slobs left behind had no way of getting home or firing off those awesome death rays I was hoping for. Alien rights activists petition the government to provide a home for the “prawns,” as the aliens are called, because lefties always ruin everything for gun toting rednecks and corporate titans. This leads to the creation of District 9, a slum where the aliens are holed up by military types. Only the prawns keep escaping and bugging their neighbors, so the government hires an evil corporation called MNU (Multi-National United) to move them further from the general population. Poor dopes.
So, the question you’ve been waiting for: is the movie any good?
The next movie:
Harry Potter and His Elderly Gentleman Friend
I wasn’t sure if I would like the Harry Potter movies when they first came out. They were based on kids books, and I tend to favor darker, more adult stories. As you might have guessed, the first one didn’t do much for me. It really felt like a kids movie, though it was well done. Since then, each Harry Potter movie has gotten better. When Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix came out, the movies were actually my kind of stories! (Gasp!) More or less. So I was anxious to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
But was it as good as Order of the Pheonix?