A Tiny (Rat Sized) Update

Hello all. I haven’t posted in a while and wanted to give you an update on what I’m up to. I’ve had some migraine problems, which is one of the reasons I haven’t written. I’ve also been fiddling with a novel I’ve been wanting to write, though I haven’t made much progress for the reason I just mentioned. I happen to have some news, so I thought I’d share.

I’ve mentioned that I have pet rats several times on the site. Well, my wife and I just bought 3 news ones last week. I’ll get some pictures and post them today or tomorrow so the squeamish among you can reel back in horror. (Open minds, people … open minds.) For now, I’ll tell you a little about them in case there are any rat fanciers frequenting AGN.

All three rats are males. This is the first time we’ve been able to buy males because the local Pet Smart doesn’t normally carry male rats. But another pet store had them, so we went for it. One is a completely hairless (!!!) dumbo with two different color eyes. One eye is pink, the other black. So he has 3 unusual traits all in one! His name is Rogaine. He was sickly when we bought him, but the vet has given us some meds and he’s doing much better now.

The second is also hairless. His body has a light coat of fuzz on it, while his head has a thick mane of black hair. He kinda looks like an “Abe” for some reason, but we decided to call him Blackbeard.

The third rat we bought was insecure and aggressive. He kept attacking Rogaine, so we traded him in for another rat. The new boy is off-white in color and has ruby red eyes. He’s very playful and gets along with the other two without problems. (All three boys were in the same cage at the pet store, so it’s no surprise.) His name is Bloodshot.

We already had two females. In case you’re interested, the “alpha” female is called Jitters. She’s a regular old fancy rat. She was very tiny when we bought her, but — like a true alpha — she could literally flip the older girls on their backs and pin them there. She clearly has some sort of rat Kung Fu working for her. The older girls were about 3 times her size and Jitters put them down when she was only about 7 weeks old. Even the old alpha female, Alley. (Which was short for “Almond Joy” … don’t ask.) The other female is called Toasty, and she’s a Siamese rat. Yes, I said she’s a Siamese. She is very laid back and gentle.

One other thing about our rats … we, uh … bred them there for a little while. (What did I say about open minds people?!?) I found out that if you mix a blue rat (long and slender) with a fancy rat (short and pudgy) you get Godzilla sized boys that are long and fat. Their tales were more than a foot long! The females were even pudgier than normal. But giant rats scare the Hell out of people, so I got exactly what I was hoping for with the boys! Heh heh. Awesome.

Here’s a fun thing to try: When Jehovah’s Witnesses or other porch preachers come to your door, just grab 3 or 4 Godzilla rats and stick them to yourself. (They cling like Velcro, so it’s cool.) Then answer the door and drop to your knees, screaming, “RATS! KILLER RATS! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Make sure you have a camera with you so you can take a photo of their faces before you slam the door on them and laugh at their expense. Ah, the memories…

That’s it for now. Peace.