For those of you who missed it last week, the SciFi Channel’s Tin Man will be back today from 5 to 11 P.M. This is supposed to be a reimagining of The Wizard of Oz, but it feels more like a totally different story to me. The links to the original are tenuous at best. And I’m not sure the story’s Tin Man … who isn’t even made of tin … plays a big enough part to earn the title role. Still, my wife loved the mini-series and I thought it was pretty good. Many have billed Tin Man as a darker version of The Wizard of OZ, but I think that’s pushing it. It’s certainly more adult and less “cutesy” for my tastes.
Now this is a
darker Tin Man, dammit!
That isn’t saying much. The original Tin Man was so gay he made Ryan Seacrest look straight. Real straight. This Tin Man, better known as Wyat Cain or Ensign Hawk (depending on who you ask) doesn’t dance around and toot his hat at us as he waxes poetic about his lost humanity. So as you can see, this version could already be considered an improvement over the old Judy Garland version.
Instead of a Scarecrow or a bi-curious Lion, Tin Man offers us Glitch and Raw. Glitch used to be the smartest guy since God at the moment he invented hot chicks. (Don’t tell Satan I said that!) But Azkadellia ripped out half his brain and turned him into a goober for her own amusement. He doesn’t dance much either, but he does have the Kung Fu! Raw appears to be a filth covered vagrant with telepathic powers, which sort of reminds me of the opening scenes from that old Scanners movie. Apparently, he comes from an entire race of filthy vagrants with telepathic powers. I don’t know why.
The original Tin Man
shyly accepts the Lion’s
offer of marriage.
Then we have DG, a fiesty update to Dorothy Gale from The Wizard of Oz. Note that DG handles the discovery that her parents are robots pretty well. She’s all, “Well, I guess it could be worse,” about it. She just shrugs it off and goes back to making owl eyes at us. You know, you’d think she’d flip out to learn she’d been transported to some sort of alternate dimension. She isn’t impressed by that either. I think DG might be an emotionally stunted person. It’s probably the Prozac. Damn these new age parents! Er, I mean robots!
But now we come to my favorite, Azkadellia. She’s the reason I stayed around through all three parts of the mini series. She takes my perverse goth-chick fetish and reverses it on itself with her fairytale princess makeup and her glorious, heaving nubbies. Kathleen Robertson (as Azkadellia) provides hope for all women who only have average sized boobs. All you have to do is smash them up into a golden bustier to get my full attention, ladies! (Hurray!) Add some mobat tatoos and I’ll never look you in the eyes again.
Tats, hair, and boobies! Oh my!