The Atheist Geek’s Harrowing Tale Of Heroism

My precious.
I love this car. If it had tits,
I’d marry it. In a fricking instant!

The scene opens on Middleford Road. It’s 7:20 in the morning and I’m on my way to work. A pickup truck with big tires rumbles out from the bend in the street ahead. Its wheels are nearly as tall as my Chrysler Concord LXI. The truck’s heading the opposite way and it’s getting closer.

The truck is two car lengths away when its left front wheel twists free. It rocks forward on its remaining three wheels. The fourth comes bounding straight at me.

I bought the Chrysler less than two weeks ago. And I love my car.

car wreck

I swing it to the right. The wild truck tire rampages past my left. There are other cars behind me. I look in my rearview to see where the tire’s going, but the sun’s glare blinds me. Then I see the tire leap high above the glare as it hits something. I think it’s a telephone pole. Then the tire falls, crashing to the street below. I still can’t tell if anyone was hurt.

Fun times.

Then I turn left and head in to work with a tale to tell.

Okay, it wasn’t that heroic. But at least I saved my car. 🙂

Thanks for your indulgence.

Sidenote: I have an announcement board where I work. When I had a vacation a while back, I wrote: “I’m dead. So don’t call me.” One of the women who worked in the department said I was tempting fate. (Insert your favorite eye-rolling graphic here.)

I just came back from another vacation day from the July 4th weekend. I left another message on my announcement board: “I’m dead to you. Don’t call.” Then this near miss happened today.

And guess what she said?

“That happened because of what you wrote on that board! If you hadn’t of wrote that…”