What Is Sparlock, The New Ex-Witness Meme?

Sparlock the Warrior Wizard is the Watchtower Society’s newest unintended act of shameful hilarity, one that ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses across the net have latched onto and made their own. It is also the product of an organization run by a bunch of clueless old guys who are probably still complaining about the kids with their Walkmans and those new-fangled airplanes and such. For ex-Witnesses who feel that the Society exists in a Twilight Zone bubble of creepiness, Sparlock could surely serve as our exhibit A.

Sparlock is awesome, even if the video that spread the name is not. If you haven’t seen it yet, the video appears below.

UPDATE: “The man” has dropped the hammer on this video, crushing poor little Sparlock like so many of Caleb’s hopes and dreams. Another version has appeared, and another, and still another, but they will surely go away before many of you can see it. You can get more in the way of details on the actual video at Watchtower’s New “Toy Story” – What Parents Need To Know thanks to Cedars. Check out the rest of his blog while you’re there.

That was part 2. The first part is also on YouTube, and is just as depressing. Not to mention manipulative. But I digress. Remember kids, the Society actually put this video out there for Jehovah’s Witnesses–and all their critics–to see. They spent real money on this turd, went through some sort of editorial process to write it, tweak it, and bring it to life, then produced thousands of DVDs and spread them far and wide, all without realizing just how bizarre and creepifying it would be for those of us who do not exist within their stifling bubble of disjointed magazine covers and old guys in black suits.

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For The Disfellowshipped, The Bad Associates, And The Disowned: You Really Do Have A Choice

Whether you’re a former Jehovah’s Witness who has been disfellowshipped1 or an atheist who has been disowned from a deeply religious family, take heart. This doesn’t have to be a soul tearing rejection from the only family you will ever get. Far from it.

Here’s what you need to know: no matter what you’ve been told, you can choose your family. Only your relatives are determined by genes and blood. Family is different. Because family is about relationships. If your relatives are bad news…or reject you because they think you’re bad news…you can choose another family based on any criteria you like. Realizing this can put you back in charge of your own life. Even if that means striking out on your own and leaving your old, dysfunctional family behind.

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  1. Disfellowshipping is like being excommunicated with a huge dose of shunning iced on top. None of your Witness relatives or friends will even speak to you once you’ve been disfellowshipped. Of course, many ex-Witnesses are shunned just because they’re seen as a bad associate. But that’s another story.

Update on “Truth Be Told” Documentary About Ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses

I just received an update on the “Truth Be Told” documentary about ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses. I mentioned it here a little while back. Aside from all the other video snippets that you can see at the web site (I think any ex-Witness will find these interviews encouraging) the official trailer is now available online as well. You can view it on Vimeo or Youtube right now!

I hope everyone is psyched about this. Especially those who’s lives were deeply affected by their experiences as former Jehovah’s Witnesses. It’s not every day you get to have your side of any story told, especially in a real documentary that many people will see.  Please consider supporting the documentary by clicking on the “Support Now” button at the top of the website and spreading the word.

You can also share your story as an ex-Witness here.

I’m really looking forward to this one.

A Reaction To “‘Mentally Diseased’ and Politcal Correctness.”

The web site that published “‘Mentally Diseased'” and Political Correctness” is called Sheep and Goats. It appears to be written by one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. It’s meant to defend the Watchtower Society against critics who dislike the organization’s recent use of the term “mentally diseased” when describing those it deems to be apostates. Here are my reactions…and rebuttals…to the article. I will incorporate points I already made in my last article while I’m at it.

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