Why Jehovah’s Witnesses Think They Have More Freedom Than You Do

smug cat
If only this cat knew that rats are WAY cooler pets.
Smug little bastard…

People who are not Jehovah's Witnesses are free to make choices. We can go to church, become atheists (like yours truly), or celebrate any holiday we choose. We can read whatever we like, listen to any music we like, or watch any movie we like. All without fear that an Elder will tap us on the shoulder and haul us before a judicial committee. We can even use our own judgment without consulting a Watchtower Magazine for the Governing Body's take on every major decision we make. Jehovah's Witnesses can't claim any of that with a straight face. Not that it matters. Because they think they have more freedom than you do. Seriously. And they think they're the only ones capable of exercising that freedom fully. How can that be?

It's simple. To Jehovah's Witnesses, the rest of us have made the only choice can make: death. Most of us don't even know we've made that choice. But it's the only option we'll allow ourselves to have. Meanwhile, the Witnesses–bless their little hearts–keep knocking on our doors in an attempt to keep us informed about the alternative. Very few of us are willing to listen, so our choices remain limited to just one: death.

Well, that's how they see it at least. But I digress…

Witnesses have two choices because they're better informed than we are. (At least they think so.) They can choose 1) death, or 2) life everlasting in paradise. In their minds, that's twice as many choices as everyone else. So while pitiful old "worldly people" like you and I can do whatever we'd like with our brief lives, those choices are meaningless because they're only short term. Our lives are finite. Their lives will go on forever and they'll be in paradise too! They've chosen to make that happen by going to meetings, knocking on doors, and obeying the Governing Body. They reaffirm this decision every time they do any of these things instead of something they'd rather do. These are all daily sacrifices, and every sacrifice only increases a Witness's commitment to the Watchtower Society. Every sacrifice is an investment.

So when worldly people accuse them of being a cult or complain that the Watchtower Society is doing all their thinking for them, most Jehovah's Witnesses are happy to just chuckle and deflect our comments with something like: "We can do anything you can do…so long as it isn't wrong." You know the drill. That's the part where they elbow the Witness next to them in the ribs and wink knowingly.

"Man," they say with that wink, "being right sure is awesome. Glad I'm not this poor dope. Aren't you?"

Of course, I can't agree with their view. Anyone else have an opinion worth sharing?

Let's hear it.