Thank You

DJ

I also don’t have to attend 5 weekly meetings, study the WT literature week after week, or log hours in field service, or answer to the whims of Elders, the Governing Body, attend the Memorial Of Christ’s Death or the conventions, consult the organization’s opinion about the music I listen to, the books I read, the movies I watch, etc. I could go on.

If our obligations are how you measure control, I’m pretty sure I would win. Luckily, that’s not how I see things.

You could search through the other articles I’ve written to get a more complete picture of where I’m coming from and offer something better than this angry commentary. (Yes, even if you disagree with me.) That would be something of value. Something interesting to read and respond to.

Or you could continue to drop angry commentaries throughout the site (and others like it) based on what seems like a knee jerk reaction to a single article that wasn’t even aimed at you. Which do you think will earn you the most respect from me and others who read this site? What impression do you think you’ve made so far?

If you are easily offended by opinions that contradict your own or the Society’s, you should really stick to reading approved sites that support that point of view. Not ones that dissent with the organization. Knee jerk reactions will only get you flamed or ignored everywhere else. They certainly don’t make practicing JWs look any better to XJWs like myself.

If you are calm and reasonable, with a genuine interest in having a conversation or communicating ideas–even criticisms–then you are welcome to contribute. And I will try to respond in kind. But please don’t bother with the angry knee jerk reaction stuff. It gets tedious very quickly. You’ll get a lot more from pretty much everybody if you do.

Sadly, it seems like many Witnesses are unconsciously trying to bully and hassle ex-Witnesses, not so much to save us from ourselves as they claim. Their approach is usually off and they do more damage to their stated goal than good by being aggressive and mean. Many of them do a wonderful job of pushing us around, though.

This is how many top-notch salesmen work as well. They push you around until you get tired of it and just buy the service plan like they wanted. Then, they’re suddenly friendly again. It conditions you to just do what they want because it’s easier.

Both bullies and aggressive salesmen push their advantage when they sense weakness. Try to match their aggression and they’re more inclined to proceed carefully. So be confident, not meek. They want the “buzz” that comes from slapping you down. If they sense that they might get slapped down instead, they’ll suddenly switch to a gentler, kinder approach. This allows them to cry foul if you overdo it. That’s why, in public, at least, you should only match their aggression.

Note that not all Witnesses are this bad, but many are. Too bad.

I really like your posts, they’re sane and funny, and very helpful.

To Selena: Hi Selena. Yeah, explaining my reasons was a tough one for me too. It really took years before I could nail it all down and articulate it, especially in the face of JW certitude. Constant nagging by my JW in-laws really drove me to keep trying. I’ve been puttering around with an essay that goes into details about it. Maybe I’ll post it when it’s done.

-Selena