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Humor For Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses:
Top 10 Signs Your Judicial Hearing Won't Be Going So Well

  1. You walk in right as the Elders set that effigy they made of you blazing.
  2. The doors to the Kingdom Hall are locked. You can hear the Elders giggling as you walk back to your car. Then they prank phone call you all night long.
  3. You notice that all the Elders at your tribunal are packing heat and bullet proof vests.
  4. You catch one of the Elders propositioning you while disguised as a hooker. Twice.
  5. One of them has a pair of handcuffs and a billy club in his lap.
  6. You catch one of the Elders erecting a Christmas Tree in your front lawn the night before your hearing to incriminate you.
  7. The committee overseer begins with, "Alright, let's get this party started."
  8. Ministerial Servants keep taping a "Guilty as hell!" sign to your back. Those kidders.
  9. You notice a crate full of magazines and DVDs next to your chair as you sit down for the hearing. Hey! It's that pallet-load of porn you kept hidden in your basement! Try to act cool.
  10. You discover that the Kingdom Hall has simply disappeared as the congregation picked up its roots and moved away. Grinning merrily, you skip all the way home shouting, "FREE! Free at last!!"

-the Atheist Geek-

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